Я уже выкладывала кусочек, но теперь — та-даааам! — полное видео!
www.dailymotion.com/video/x14e99_snl-jude-law-m...Монолог любовно записан Аэлит и настоятельно рекомендуется к заучиванию наизусть ))* курсивом выделены фразы, которые произносит не Джуди
Thank you, thank you very much! It’s wonderful to be here, in New-York city.
All of you may know me from my film work, perhaps from – one, two, tree… – six films, they are coming out right now. But, you know, I actually started in the theatre and hosting this show reminds me that time in my life, when everyone would work very long hours, stay up nights rehearsing till everything was just right, because we loved this so much. I remember the first time, I mean my first opening night in repertoire theatre. I was playing Happy in “Death of a salesman” at the West Yorkshire playhouse in Leads. I went to the theatre very early that night, I remember I sat in my tiny dressing room with a bare light-bulb hanging from the ceiling, and even though it smelled like cigarettes and stale beer I have never been happier. I was to put on the make-up and I looked in the mirror – I remember it so clearly – I looked in the mirror and I thought “Good God, I am so good-looking! I mean, look at this face! This face does not belong in a crappy little theatre in Leads, honestly!”
I took one look in a mirror
And I could clearly see,
That there was one perfect thing in it –
And that thing was me!
You know, people think it’s easy going through life with a face like this. It is! It’s easy.
I don’t need to really act,
I don’t need a big heart,
I don’t need to be nice,
I don’t need to be smart –
I am, that’s just a bonus. Ladies!
He’s the most beautiful man
We ever saw,
It’s sound take that smile
Against the law –
I wanna be against the law! Jude Law, that is.
We don’t mean to be rude,
But when we’re in mood
The one man we think of is Jude –
It’s Jude! Totally nude! About to be screwed –
Yeah, all right.
I made women swoon
And Matt Damon cry,
Nicole Kidman melt
When she gazed in my eyes.
My looks don’t fit
The common belief
That Englishmen have big years
And bad teeth.
He’s the most beautiful man in the world!
But usually when you’re this good-looking people think you’re gay. I’m just English! I’m so good-looking I even don’t need to be funny to make people laugh. Watch this.
- Tina!
- What is it, Jude?
- What’s that over there? Made you look!
- Ha-ha-ha!
See what I mean?
- That is so funny and I’m a professional comedian!
It’s so easy. No one even ever corrects me.
- Oh, everyone, our tonight’s musical guest Jessica Simpson!
- Actually, it’s… oh… you can call me Jessica.
- Maya! Maya, have you met Jessica?
- Actually, it’s Ashley.
- Ashley? Oh, I must say sorry.
- Oh, no-no, it’s okay, *incoherent chatter*
- I LOVE YOU!
I’m just a regular guy.
He is more than okay.
I’d like to get to know you
In a biblical way!
We don’t mean to be rude,
But we can conclude
That we are in the mood for a man named Jude!
Если кому-то удастся выковырять это видео, залейте на какой-нибудь файлообменник, пожалста! Очень хочется иметь на компе Замечательнейшая
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Jude Law - SNL monologue